WHAT THE

Eight Stages of Healing After a Breakup
1. Stage 1 – SHOCK: “What the…? Are we really not together anymore? Am I sure? Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe he’s really left for a season and I will go into the bathroom and see him showering.” Your mind is deciding to deny your pain because it is too painful to process the truth. Chill and avoid drastic behavior like massive shopping sprees, tattoos and nasty haircuts.

2. Stage 2 – DENIAL: “I seriously think we were meant to be together. Deep down I know we’re just on a break.” Sure. Keep telling yourself this. Torture yourself because it feels good, like playing with a loose tooth or overusing tweezers. Just don't call him and pretend you never broke up.

3. Stage 3 – NUMBNESS: “I am so surprised at how easy he was to get over. I’m not even crying. In fact, nothing in my life seems to matter anymore. I’m not hungry or passionate about anything. Go figure.” Your mind is protecting you from overwhelming thoughts. Napping is good during this stage.

4. Stage 4 - FEAR: “What if I never date again? Will I end my days alone in a dusty old house knitting booties for the children I never had?” Talk about your fears with a friend who can snap you out of your extreme thoughts.

5. Stage 5 - ANGER: “Wait a minute. We never did any of those things we said we were going to do. It was all talk. What a schmuck. It was all his fault. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to love such a low-life hairy ball of earwax.” Let out anger in healthy ways with juicy revenge fantasies.

6. Stage 6 - DEPRESSION: “I have no one to go to brunch with anymore. And if I did, I’d rather stay in my bed and eat Chunky Monkey.” If the despair is unbearable or leads to suicidal thoughts, don’t wait to get professional help. Get it now.

7. Stage 7 - UNDERSTANDING: “I learned so much from him and I’m really glad I’m not dating him anymore. I guess we weren’t meant to be together.” Ahh, we are seeing the light.

8. Stage 8 – ACCEPTANCE: “He was not perfect but neither was I. We were meant to be together for the time we were together.” Now bring on the other fish in the sea. I’m fabulous!” You go girlfriend.